Yup..
Not more than three months, this happened...
I guess this is the end of the
effort for me to win her heart.. after all this past three months, I wasn't able to win her heart.
Yes I gave up very easily..
I also having that kind of thought too. You know.. the "why did you give up so easily man? It just the beginning!" Thought.. hahaha
You know what's funny?
When you giving a promise that you're not going to give up and you'll wait for her until you get her and in the end you're the one who gave up and letting her go. It's easy to say but actually hard to do when you've been through with it.
Well she's tough to be honest. She's not the kind of woman that would easily fell in love. When I think about it, it seemed like I am forcing her to fall for me. You know like giving her gifts and some shit like that. People around me including her friends are on my side. Telling her that she shouldn't done that to me by giving "false hope". And it was also my fault for being jealous with the wrong person which is her closest friend ( don't want to mention him )
Well the way she treat her "friend" is like "more than a friend" to me- well not just me, even other people also having the same thought as me. Could you believe that?
Then I realised..
Why are you still waiting for the person that doesn't give any effort to like you? Even though she told you to try to like you but actually she wasn't?
I've made a choice to just let her go. What people would say as... MOVED ON.
I'm tired.. So goddamn tired..
Tired of what? This kind of nonsense thing that shouldn't be happen to me. Because of this, I just lost one of my best friend which is not anymore.
PRESENT
After all that happened, my life has been pretty good so far. My ex-girlfriend has already forgave me for what I did to her and we became best friend. Well, we still in contact after that. Also, all the problems that I have had before has already been done. One of my bestfriend that I ignored him has been good to me. He was misunderstand about me and doesn't know anything about how hard am I at that time because I didn't told him anything about it.
for the final semester, I decided to go out from my beloved hostel with my beloved roommates as I thought that I can't stay with them. I will go from house to college back and forth instead as it is hard for me to find for another room. Also, I was still in contact with the girls from my classes and also Kak Nor, the girl that I asked about the woman. While Nik, well as I told you guys from the previous posts, I was no longer a friend of him. But, sometimes he still asked me on how am I doing which I still appreciate him. You know what man, I still value you as my friend even though we're not anymore.
While the woman, well I didn't even talked to her after all that happened. Not even a single word came out between the two of us. Until now, we still didn't say anything and it's good this way because I am trying to get her out from my mind. Do I still trying to talk to her in the future? maybe not. I'm not going to talk to her or even look at her face as if she didn't even exist. Or maybe not. We'll see.
And for the letter that she gave to me, here is my answer:
Hi,
I know this is already late and probably you've already forget about it but I want to say that. Firstly, I'm sorry for leaving you without any notice or not even telling you anything about all this. Well, as you can see I am no longer chasing you or to be more specific, I have given up on you. Well yeah it's true that Allah decide it for us that our relationship didn't work. And you know what, you shouldn't say sorry about all this- I am the one who is supposed to say sorry for wasting all your time at me, for disturbing you, all of it that annoys you. For the teddy bear and the shawl, you didn't have to give it back as if it no longer mine because it was yours- well you should just throw it away instead of just gave it to me. For your smile, just keep it to other people but me because for sure whenever you meet me, you're not even give it a smile at me or even a look at me so i suggested that you don't need to force yourself smiling at me.
and lastly,
Thank you for wasting your time for me and it was nice to have met you.
That was the end of the lamest story that I have had and sorry for taking a while because my internship schedule was so packed and finally I got the opportunity to finish this story today. Thank you for reading my story.
Peace out
